Permission To Please
Pleasure is a “feel” good experience. That means it involves the enjoyment of something. Do you get pleasure from fishing? Do you like to craft? Take hikes? Try new restaurants?
A great variety of activities may be experienced as pleasurable, like playing a sport, being a foodie, having sex, playing or listening to music. Pleasure is better described as a sensation. It forms from the experiences and attitude of your self fulfilling pleasure, whatever that looks like for you!
For example, let's say that you are going to a live music concert. A band you love! You are excited to see them; you're excited in the weeks leading up to one of your favorite artists. You love getting into your concert clothes, concert vibing to music, pregaming at your favorite bar down the block from the concert hall. You can’t stop smiling, you go through security, find your seats and there's a pole in your way that blocks part of your view to the stage and you miss half the entertainment! Not to forget to mention the drunk girl who keeps yelling right above you, yelling so loud you can barely hear much other than her. Did you have a pleasurable experience? Did your pleasure from that experience reach its highest potential? Probably not.
My point is, we all seek pleasure in different ways but that doesn’t mean that the outcome will inevitably bring you joy. That brings me back to pleasure being a sensation. A happy outcome to the act of fulfilling pleasure.
We desire pleasure to be a positive good feeling. I believe it's human nature to seek positivity. I think of something Dr. Emily shares a lot in her podcasts. “Communication is lubrication.” I share this concept at every party, book club, and every conversation where this is a warranted statement! I believe in it!
When we are seeking pleasure in sex, we want it to be an enjoyable experience. Communicating what your likes and dislikes are with your partner can lead to a far more rewarding sexual experience for you both. Yes, I know, trust me. It’s easier said than done. But in my experience, after I tried the things that were suggested to me, I’m living a healthier state of being. Book club also helped with this as I was able to share my thoughts in a more open way on what I was reading and ask my partners’ thoughts. Things that sparked my interest or wanted to try. We got curious together and it allowed us to communicate our limits with each other. This inevitably spiced up my relationship to a whole other level!
Don’t forget pleasure isn’t shameful! Practicing safe sex is always important when being intimate with a partner. And let’s face it, proper sex education is much cheaper than a doctor's bill!
noun: pleasure
a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.
"She smiled with pleasure at being praised."
Similar:
happiness, delight, joy, gladness, rapture, glee, satisfaction, gratification, fulfillment, contentment, contentedness, enjoyment, amusement, delectation
Enjoyment and entertainment, contrasted with things done out of necessity.
"She had not traveled for pleasure for a long time."
Similar:
enjoyment, fun, entertainment, amusement, diversion, recreation, leisure, relaxation
An event or activity from which one derives enjoyment.
Similar:
joy, delight source of pleasure, enjoyment, amusement, diversion, recreation. pastime, divertissement treat, thrill, sensual gratification.
"the touch of his fingers gave her such pleasure"
Similar:
sensual gratification, hedonism, indulgence, self-indulgence, self-gratification, lack of self-restraint lotus-eating sybaritism
adjective: pleasure
Used or intended for entertainment rather than business. "Pleasure boats"
verb: pleasure; 3rd person present: pleasures; past tense: pleasured; past participle: pleasured; gerund or present participle: pleasuring
Give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to.
"Tell me what will pleasure you."
derive enjoyment from.
"Risky verbal exchanges that the pair might pleasure in."
